Far From Home
by colbyjackchz
Summary: It was Shane who'd walked me through how to handle a weapon. It was none other than Shane who'd given me the strength to keep moving on in this life even though what used to be was gone. Above all of the things that he taught me though... it was to love
1. Chapter 1

**All the places I've been and things I've seen,**  
**A million stories that made up a million shattered dreams. **  
**The faces of people, I'll never see again, **  
**And I can't seem to find my way home. **  
**-Far From Home, Five Finger Death Punch**

* * *

**Chapter 1**

I could have sworn my heart stopped when I saw him drop to the ground. The sound of gunfire echoed through the dark night as his gun misfired with him dropping limply to the ground with the deputy's knife stuck in his chest. The deputy held him while he struggled for his last breath, coughing up blood and staining the green grass with a syrupy, red liquid.

The wind seemed to be knocked out of me as I watched this scene from a few yards away, making sure the deputy didn't catch sight of me.

"Damn you for making me do this Shane. This is you, not me. You did this to us. Not me, not me," Rick Grimes howled menacingly into the darkness.

It was a beautiful night with the moon huge and full, dipping low into the sky and seeming to bathe them both in moonlight from the top of that hill. I felt my own knees begin to buckle beneath me as I sunk to my knees, teardrops falling from my eyes and sailing towards the ground.

Rick began to sob just as I was and started rocking back and forth, letting out the occasional wretched moan. He leaned over his dead companion from the fuzzy memory of high school and up until now, putting his head in his hands. Once again he rocked back and forth, his hands shaking and grief radiating from the man himself.

My mouth was wide open, still not believing that he was gone…for good. I couldn't wrap my head around the thought of him not being there ever again by my side, where he belonged. Shane was essentially my lifeline, giving me strength; even hope in this now hopeless world that had surely gone to hell…though with him it seemed like everything was tolerable and somewhat normal again.

It was Shane who'd walked me through how to handle a weapon. In the beginning I was terrified of guns, ever since I barely survived a school shooting back in middle school. The memories still haunted me but his stubborn nature proved to prevail over it all and though sometimes-harsh encouragement I was able to overcome it.

It was none other than Shane who'd given me the strength to keep moving on in this life even though what used to be was gone. Many of times I questioned the very worth and point to this life after the disease spread in ways unknown and turned my family, along with many others, to walkers. Through all of it though he was able to convince me otherwise and to turn the opinion around entirely.

Above all of the things that he taught me though, it was to love. Of course I'd had a few boyfriends in college and high school, but it wasn't like the love I knew deep down I felt for him. I knew he felt the same. Little things seemed to mean the most to us, whether it was sitting on Hershel's porch swing and sharing parts of our lives, sharing humor even in the darkest of times, or something as simple as taking some time away from the work to have target practice.

Even though he seemed to be cold on the outside once you really got to know him, Shane Walsh was a character. Though after Otis…he began to change and I knew it. He slowly became what would lead to his downfall, being self-centered and power hungry.

I watched him slowly change, but I didn't stop loving him, nor did he me. I also knew that he was the one that pulled the gun on Rick that night, because I watched him do it with my very eyes. He didn't know I was there, but neither did Rick. Over and over I watched him try Rick's patience and some part of me knew this was inevitable. I kept holding on to the belief that it was only a phase, not a permanent case of partial insanity. With me he was always the same, even until the end, though his actions and words towards others proved otherwise.

I could see him suffering, and most of his actions I blamed on being at the wrong place at the wrong time. The odds were against him and once again they came out on time.

"Not me, not me," Rick once again moaned, pulling me out of my memories.

"Dad?" a boy's voice squeaked.

Rick stopped short and turned around slowly, facing his brunette, baby-faced boy Carl. The boy looked horrified and angry at the same time. Rick slowly rose to his feet and wiped the tears away, coming towards his son with caution.

"Carl…" Rick croaked.

He began to slowly walk toward him, "No…you should be back home, with mom."

Carl's eyes widened as he pulled out a black handgun, raising it. Rick looked hurt even further, holding his hands up in surrender.

"Just, just…put the gun down," Rick pleaded.

My eyes were blurry with tears at this point, but I was able to see the horror that was right behind Rick. Stalking toward him with a hungry look in his eyes was Shane himself. I couldn't believe my eyes as I realized what he now was…a walker. My head spun with questions with the main one being, how?

"It's not what it seems, please," Rick croaked, his voice cracking.

Carl evidently saw what I did because the second gunshot of the night echoed through the land as the bullet lodged itself in Shane's skull. Rick whipped around as Carl lowered the gun and was fighting tears, breath coming in gasps. He turned back to his son with tears in his own eyes and brought him into a hug, holding him tight.

I couldn't hold it back any longer and began to sob uncontrollably, wailing into the night and wondering why he had to be taken. The whole part of him being a walker was the farthest thing from my mind at that point. He was gone; my heart ached at the words.

Slowly I curled up into a ball in the grass after crawling a bit. He was my whole world, how could he be gone just like that? So many had been lost already, including the biggest softie, teddy bear you could ever ask for, Dale. Not to mention Andrea's sister Amy, Jim, Sophia, Jacqui, and so many others I had long ago lost count. It seemed like all this group did was suffer loss, get smaller, and somehow recover. The fight for survival with us versus the world…well let's just say we were beginning to lose.

I didn't even notice the footsteps approaching as I felt someone brush back my long brown hair. Through teary eyes I made out the form of Rick who was crouching above me with sympathy and sadness flooding his gaze. My mood went instantly from suffering to anger in a matter of seconds. I pushed his hand off of me and shot up to my feet, glaring down at the deputy with rage in my eyes.

Deep down I knew that he did what he had to and after all it was Shane that attacked him first. It was Shane who had broken his trust over and over again. It was Shane that pushed him to the limit. I was blinded by my rage toward his killer and my love for him that was far from gone.

Rick looked sad, "Sarah I-"

"Don't touch me," I snapped, rubbing my arm and shooting a glare his way.

Carl was standing a few feet behind Rick looking very emotionally confused with tears brimming his eyes. I flipped my hair over my shoulder and took off in a fast walk toward Hershel's farmhouse, anger and denial burning through my veins. "Sarah wait! I'm sorry…It…he…" Rick stuttered, trying to figure out something to say to the younger girl.

For once Rick Grimes didn't have something encouraging or particularly wise to say, he was stumped for words as she walked away. Carl looked back at his dad who took him into another hug as they too began to head for the farmhouse.

I stomped off and made sure not to look back as I broke into a tear filled jog toward the camp. My nose was running as I was gasping for breath after the long run, approaching the house and hearing the gravel of the driveway crunching under my boots.

"Sarah, what's going on, we heard gunshots-" Lori's voice said.

I sniffled and wiped the angry tears on my sleeve, shooting a glare up at the deputy's wife. I'd never really liked her, she was too self-centered and seemed to care about only herself. Another reason was of course her past intimacy, that was apparently just 'confusion', with Shane. The woman was confused on who she love. That was before I'd known him though…still I was wary at the way she seemed to be attached to Rick and Shane at once. Shane had been mine and I think she knew that, it was just the desire to have what you couldn't that made me catch her sneaking glances at him when Rick wasn't looking.

Maybe I was wrong, maybe it was just misjudging the woman or being too harsh but my opinions stood.

"Oh my God…" Carol breathed from beside Lori.

By now everyone, T-Dog, Glenn, Maggie, Andrea, Beth, Hershel, Jimmy, Patricia, Carol, and Daryl was coming out of the house and onto the wrap around porch. I turned around from where I was on the ground below and gasped, seeing what Carol saw instantly. A huge group of walkers were dragging their flesh hungry bodies towards the farm, hundreds of them in one big herd.

"Patricia, get the lights," Hershel breathed.

"I'll get the guns," Andrea said running back into the house.

"Is that the same herd we passed on the highway? Should we just go inside?" Glenn asked.

"No unless there's a tunnel downstairs I don't know bout'. A herd that size'll tear the house down," Daryl said, looking at the mass that was coming toward them.

I began to breath heavy, sadness replaced by horror and the realization that I could to die tonight. Hell, any of us could. It was such a real possibility that in that moment for the first time real terror flooded my veins. Andrea's boots slammed against the deck wood as she ran back in with her blonde ponytail bouncing, carrying the precious gun bag.

Maggie began passing out guns and handed one firmly to Glenn, who looked surprised.

"Maggie…" he said.

"You grow up country you pick up a thing or two," she replied breathlessly, beginning to load the shotgun.

"They got the numbers, it's no use," Daryl said.

"You can go if you want," Hershel started.

"You're gonna' take em' all on?" Daryl questioned.

"We have guns, we have cars," Hershel replied.

"Kill as many as we can," Andrea added, "and we use the cars to lead the rest of them off the farm."

"You serious?" Daryl asked.

Hershel's eyes changed to a steely blue, something no one had ever seen that just burst inside of him and was overflowing into his actions. He looked not just like a stubborn old man but also like a fiercely protective individual with strength that no one could take on. He picked a black shotgun out of the bag and popped it open, loading it with red shells and fiercely closing it with a click.

Hershel looked at all of them with a stern look, "This is my farm, and I'll die here."

Daryl shrugged, "Aight'. S' gooda' night as any."

I rushed up on the deck and grabbed a pistol from the bag to defend myself if I had to. This trust with weapons that I now had…it brought me back to Shane once more, which hurt like a new stab wound to my heart each time.

Daryl loads his crossbow and drops off the edge of the rail and lands easily, headed to where his motorcycle is parked by the cars. Maggie, Glenn, T-Dog, and Andrea sprint off to the cars with loaded weapons. Too shocked to do anything, I stay poised on the deck, with my hands clasped over my mouth.

A few walkers now were getting inside the fences close to the house but Hershel wasn't about to let them get close to the house. He stood in front of the steps in his blaze of glory, nailing one after another and watching with satisfaction as they crumpled to the ground in a pile of rotting flesh and disgust.

"I checked the shed and I can't find him anywhere," Lori says, frantically.

"He's not in the cellar or the attic!" Carol replied.

"Why can't he listen for once!" Lori exclaims.

Lori passed me and points to the woods, "Okay, okay, if he followed his daddy he would have gone that way."  
"No you'll lead them right to him! We can't stay here!" Carol yells.

"But that's my boy!"

"You're gonna have to trust! If we find him he's going to need his mother! We gotta go!" Carol protested.

Lori looked on the brink of crying and was breathing heavy as Carol pulled her along, "Get the others!"

"Carl!" Lori cries into the dark night.

I stood off to the side with Beth whose thin form was shaking out of fear. Carol gathered us and called for Lori, who came reluctantly.

Back in the cars they were taking out a few here and there with everyone working diligently and swerving back and forth to get as many as they could without getting ambushed. It just wasn't proving enough and before long they were more than overwhelmed.

"They're all over the place, it's no use. We're gonna run out of ammo before we make a dent," Andrea exclaimed, taking down another with her pistol.

"We need a game plan," T-dog agreed.

I looked up from my spot on the porch, taking all this chaos in and not being really able to move, as I saw a light to my right. My jaw almost dropped as I realized the barn was going up in flames, with an orange blaze creeping up the wood of the many years old barn. How had I just noticed this?

"Hershel!" Lori yelled.

"Hershel it's time to go!"

"Come on, now! Hershel!"

The old man ignored them and kept shooting, taking out walker after walker but deep down knowing there was too many.

"We have to go!" Carol said, tugging Beth, Patricia, and I towards the car.

We ran in a mad dash to the truck with Beth and Patricia behind me. I heard a scream from behind as I was getting in the truck. Patricia's neck was being bit as a walker held her by the shoulders. Beth still had her hand and was screaming in horror as the woman was dragged to the ground and surrounded by undead bodies.

Lori managed to get her to the car, smashing herself, Beth, and I in beside T-Dog. Andrea jumped out with her pistol poised, running towards where she knew Carol was, being surrounded by two walkers. Andrea took the two out easily and breathed a sigh of relief. Carol's face distorted in fear, "Look out!" Andrea spun around just in time and shot the walker at point blank range, where he then fell on Andrea.

T-Dog hit the accelerator and we were jolted backwards, Beth and I were in a state of shock at what had just happened. We had no way of knowing if anyone would make it out…Carol, Andrea, Glenn, Daryl, Maggie, Hershel

The cab was silent except for Beth's crying as T-Dog found the road and sped off, leaving behind the one place we all fooled ourselves into thinking was safe.

* * *

**A/N: The idea came to me after listening to Five Finger Death Punch's song, Far From Home. For whatever reason that triggered the story to pop into my head! xD Well, please review and let me know if you guys like it so far! Working on chapter two now :)**

**This is going to be a ShaneXOC and eventually DarylXOC fic :3**

**I do NOT own TWD or the song Far From Home. All rights go to their owners!**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

_We're all infected, _Rick's words echoed through my mind like a boomerang coming back over and over again. Glancing around at the shocked faces of my fellow travelers and friends, they were just as surprised as I was. Part of me expected something crazy like this to happen though because it explained Shane perfectly…why he turned to a walker after death.

"What?" Daryl asked under his breath.

Rick shook his head, stress and pain clouding his eyes. I kept my gaze to the ground, refusing to meet the deputy's eyes. Most of my anger had cooled off after what happened back at the farm and after the reunion.

Somehow everyone except Andrea had made it out, which we were greatly saddened to hear, she was one of our best shooters. I didn't mind Andrea as much as I did Lori. Andrea was more like a figure that I looked up to, even though we were just about the same age. My dark brown hair fell over my green eyes, masking the pain that I knew my gaze held. What I was genuinely surprised was that no one had asked for elaboration on how Shane died.

When Rick originally made mention of it, princess Lori's face fell, which sparked my anger even more. She thought she cared for him but in reality there was no way you could compare my level of love to what she thought she felt. As I said, maybe it was just and anger fueling me to thing these things.

"At the CDC, Jenner told me. Whatever it is…we all carry it," Rick answered, looking far away.

Glenn looked beside himself with hurt and Daryl just looked flat out pissed. "And you never said anything?" Carol questioned.

"Would it have made a difference?" Rick responded coldly.

"You knew this whole time," Glenn said through clenched teeth.

"How could I have known for sure you saw how crazy that-"

"That is not your call," Glenn snapped. "When I found out about the walkers in the barn I told for the good of everyone."

"I thought it best if people didn't know," Rick said sternly with his gaze locked on Glenn's.

Rick crossed his arms as the rest of the group stared him down, waiting for him to speak. I peeked out from my hair shooting an angry look his way. Glenn was right, that was something in the best interest of the group to know. I couldn't be sure but it felt like Rick was changing, he seemed colder and more angry than usual. After all he did just kill his best friend…when was he going to mention it? When was he going to tell the full story? I didn't want to have to tell them myself, but if it came to that I damn sure would.

Rick shook his head and began to walk off, shaking his head as he went with his boots almost echoing in the silence of the group. The only thing that could be heard was the breathing of everyone as they tried to grasp what was just said. As usual Lori followed after a few seconds, leaving all of us standing there, drowning in our thoughts.

Glenn looked more pissed than I'd ever seem him, which was strange since he was always the peppy one of the group. He was muttering something that I didn't catch to Dixon, who was nodding in agreement. Beth was crying quietly into Hershel's chest, with him rubbing her back gently and Maggie leaning against one of the cars.

I sighed, gathering my wits about me. It wasn't going to do me any good to wallow in grief over Shane…at least not that my crew could see. I didn't want to become one of those group members that lived in what seemed like another world all day…that didn't do anything or acknowledge anyone. Hell, Shane wouldn't want that, and nor would I for myself. Sure, it was going to hurt getting over it, but I'd gotten over loss before. If this apocalypse didn't make a fighter out of a person, I don't know what could. This was war.

"Well what are we going to do, just stand here?" I spoke up with a clip to my voice.

No one looked up except Glenn, Daryl, and Carol.

"What do you expect us to do?" Hershel asked with a blank gaze, full of…nothing…

It seemed these days that that was the only expression anyone could muster. "Hell I don't know, something that would contribute to the camp. We're going to need a fire, check out the place Rick suggested earlier to camp for the night," I responded.

For God's sake, this was common knowledge. They were just standing there and it seemingly expecting shelter and warmth to fall into their hands.

Maggie sighed, putting her hands on her hips, "Sarah's right, we need to get our asses moving because it's almost dark."

Hershel didn't even bother to scold her on her language usage and it seemed the group as a whole meekly agreed.

"I'll take em' ta git some wood n' meet everyone back here," Daryl responded, grabbing his crossbow from his bike and giving Sarah a respectful nod.

"Stay together," Hershel warned.

"We will Daddy," Maggie assured, following Glenn and Daryl, who were headed towards the woods already.

Getting people moving, giving them jobs, and keeping everything under control was what was important at this point. I wasn't sure how Rick was going to be able to hold this group together anymore… Maybe Dale was right when he said this group was broken.

I couldn't believe how much I missed Dale already…he was like a father figure to me, though he was to everyone. It was such a horrible way to go for such a good man. It'd hit the group pretty hard to lose him, our only real voice of reason anymore it seemed like. Handling the deaths of Dale and Shane…well it was going to be a long road, but I'd get through it, I had to.

* * *

The moon was huge, smaller than the night before, but considerably larger than usual. The stars and solar anomalies had always fascinated me, and still sort of did to this day. When I wasn't so worried about other things I found myself sitting silently in the dead of the night, just observing the stars. Glancing up at it tonight with the warmth of the fire around me and my back to the crumbling brick wall. I couldn't help but think of such memories. Closing my eyes, I leaned my head back against the hard brick, remembering a night just like this a few weeks earlier…

"_Of all things, you're interested n' stars?" _

_I looked over at the man sitting beside me, his eyebrows raised with a smile playing at his lips. His bushy hair was a mess as usual, which bothered me to no end. I stuck my tongue out at him and leaned back on the steps of Hershel's porch, with the dim lights of the house to my back. Shane did the same, putting both hands behind his head and looking up at the open sky. _

"_To answer you're question, yes, I am interested in stars," I replied, giving him a half glance. _

_Shane laughed, making a feeling of elation rise up inside of me. Just being in his presence did that to me…let alone his smile or laugh. The man was going to be the death of me, not the walkers. _

"_Alright Galileo, what made'ja interested in those things," Shane chuckled, looking up at the sky and back at me. _

_I sighed, looking up at the heavens that were littered with millions of stars in such far away places. I'd often caught myself wondering what it would be like to live on one of those distant places, and if they'd have life. If they did, what would they be like? Would they be human like us that felt, survived, and thought? _

_In a way the apocalypse had brought out things in you you'd never saw before in the haze of the real world…and in this case it was my simple hobbies I'd never got around to doing or appreciating, like taking a moment to look at the stars. "When I was a little girl my daddy had always been fascinated by stars, the solar system, other life on other planets y'know. He'd take me out every weekend, and even on some school nights when mother was out with her girlfriends to go stargazing," I told him. _

_The memory made me giggle the slightest, "He was always carrying around that telescope of his, lumbering up that hill. We had a special spot, right up on a big hill to the south of our small ranch house. The land was my grandfathers, he used to farm the at least fifty acres that were around the house. Daddy chose the hill because it had such great visibility for the telescope." _

_Shane looked back over at me, his face softening. That stare could almost make me melt. _

"_He teach ya the constellations?" _

_I nodded with a slight smile, "Of course, you can't be a stargazer without knowing the basic constellations silly." _

_I paused for a moment, "C'mere, I'll show you." _

_Shane automatically scooted closer, till we were almost touching shoulders, which I didn't mind._

"_I've never been one for knowin' things like this…The Big Diaper? Is that one?" Shane asked, trying to be as serious as he could while saying that. _

_I laughed and elbowed him in the side, "The Big Dipper not diaper. As a matter of fact, it's right there." _

_I pointed to an arrangement of stars in the sky tracing each one with my finger. Shane followed my eyes, as well as my finger, seeming impressed. _

"_Oh! And there we have Orion, which is surprisingly easy to see tonight," I explained, tracing my finger over to another spot in the sky. _

"_Then you have The Little Dipper," I continued. _

_For the next couple minutes I exhausted my memory of constellations visible to the naked eyes. Boy wouldn't I have given anything for a telescope, and then I could teach him so much more. If we ever came to an area with a sports store or hell, even a Wal-Mart, then I'd make sure to look myself or ask Glenn to find me one. Even if it was just a dinky one…no one person had much these days, so it'd be nice to have something of substantial value again. Even if it wasn't of value to others, it was like gold to me. _

"_That all there is up there? What happened to the thought of too many stars to count?" Shane asked. _

_I shifted my position, turning sideways to where my body was facing him. "Certainly that isn't all of them, but not all of them can be seen with just you eyes. That's why I'd kill to have a telescope again," I responded. _

_Just imagining standing up on that hill in a cool autumn night with my daddy by my side, teaching me what was what and how far away it was just made me reek with longing. How I would kill to be such a young girl again with not a worry in the world…and a real world to live in. _

_Shane looked at me, seeming to notice a change. His brown eyes just scanned me, trying so desperately to read me even though I was unreadable to everyone most of the time. Suffering loss does that too you…I found out the hard way. I was jolted out of my thoughts by some warm fingers on my cheek; brushing it so lightly you would have thought it to be a feather. _

_Shane slowly brought his hand back behind his head after getting my attention. His eyes were filled with sadness as he asked the next question, which I really wasn't expecting. _

"_Sarah…what happened to your father?" _

_I was caught off guard and just stared at him for a while, trying to comprehend myself what I was to say. It was almost as if I'd forgotten what happened myself, because my mine went so blank. _

_Shane looked away, looking ashamed, "I'm sorry I wasn't thinking…you don't have to tell me-" _

"_No," I said firmly, turning onto my back again and putting both hands on my stomach, getting a bit stiff after lying on the stairs for who knows how long now. _

_I didn't mind though, it was nice to get some air for a while, that and forget about everything…even if it was just for a short while. I finally gathered my thoughts and pushed my hair out of my eyes with a small sigh. _

"_My father…he was a character. Sometimes I thought he should have been an astronomer, not a scientist. Astronomy was what he really loved, but on the same token he loved what he did at his job. He always said he was content, so mom and I always accepted that fine since he was happy. We weren't exactly sure what he did, because when he was going to tell us about this new project at work we couldn't understand a word of it. When he got excited, he talked so fast no one could understand the gibberish," I said letting out a small laugh to try and cover up how my voice cracked at the end. _

_I hadn't cried in front of anyone in a long time…and I decided to not start now, especially with Shane. He exhaled a breath and I still had his full attention, so I swallowed the lump and continued on. _

"_On basic terms, he meddled in very complicated business, working in the heart of Atlanta in one of the most important buildings in the country. The work he was doing was saving lives, whether it was looked at that way or not. He worked as a scientist, or that's what he called himself," I said softly. _

"_Where did he work?" Shane asked lightly. _

_I knew he was trying not to push too hard, almost acting like I was a dust, about to blow away in the wind if he wasn't careful. I was appreciative of this gesture though. _

"_He worked in that big building at the center of Atlanta…the name slips my mind," I stuttered, trying to remember the name. _

_Why was I going blank on something so simple to remember? Then it hit me; thank God I wasn't loosing my memory. Must have just gotten the forgetfulness from good old daddy. _

"_He worked in the-"_

I was unsuspectingly jerked out of my thoughts by what sounded like a heavy branch rustling. I came face to face with Daryl Dixon as I almost head butted him after jerking out of my daze.

"Woah there," he said, looking a bit surprised.

"Sorry," I muttered, still not entirely sure what was going on.

Daryl nodded and stood up, going back to the sound that we'd just heard. Could it be walkers? Another herd? God knows we wouldn't want to be caught out here when another one of those huge herds blew through.

"What was that?" Beth breathed, sitting closer to Hershel and looking terrified.

Ever since she'd lost most of her family and her boyfriend she'd been terrified of walkers, not that we all weren't. The poor girl trembled even at the slightest crack of a branch, the dark making it worse. Glenn and Maggie raised their heads, exchanging a look and on high alert. There really wasn't any place safe anymore, which kept everyone on high alert all the time. You were lucky just to get a decent night's sleep once in a while.

"Could be anythin'. Could be a raccoon, could be a possum-"

"Could be a walker," Glenn suggested gravely.

Everyone began to get up except for Lori, Carl, and I who stayed seated. Lori put her arms around the boy, her eyes flickering to Rick who approached from outside the foundation.

"We need to leave," Carol said, her voice wavering, "I mean what are we waiting for?"

"Which way?" Glenn breathed, picking up a shotgun.

"Came from over there," Maggie said, nodding towards the left side of where Rick was standing.

"From where we came?" Beth asked.

Maggie nodded, "Yeah…"

Rick finally spoke, but this time there was something in his voice that I'd never heard before. It was a…new type of authority, a harshness of sorts.

"The last thing we need is to have everyone runnin' off in the dark," Rick growled, an expression unreadable on his face, "We don't have the vehicles. No one's traveling on foot."

I joined the people standing up, being on the left of Carol and gave the group a once over. Everyone seemed unsure and restless, some nervously shifting their weight from one foot to another. They too seemed to notice the change in Rick, keeping their eyes down.

"Don't panic," Hershel said, more reassurance mean than was actually given. "I'm not…I'm not sittin' here and waitin' for another herd to blow through. We need to move, now," Maggie said, facing him and trying to keep her voice from shaking.

Everyone was clutching his or her weapons nervously, except Dixon who seemed to be relatively calm. Though it seemed he was in every situation.

"No one is goin' anywhere," Rick snapped, venom in his voice that no one had ever heard before.

Maggie and Beth looked at him hopelessly, along with half of the meager camp. The change in him was prominent now, and I had no idea what to do.

"Do something," Carol whispered, looking at him with her lips pressed into a thin line.

"I am doin' somethin! I'm keeping this group together, alive. I've been doin' that all along, no matter what. I didn't ask for this!" Rick growled, baring his teeth and glaring at the woman.

"I killed my best friend for you people for Christ's sake!"

Everyone was silent again while Lori buried her face in Carl's hair and it wasn't long before the boy too was in tears. I was just staring dumbly at Rick, watching him pace around, clutching my shotty with all I had left. No one really said anything for a while, with the only sound being exhaling of breath and the fire crackling.

"You saw what he was like," Rick began, "How he pushed me, how he compromised us, how he threatened us."

My breath caught in my throat, my left hand going instinctively into a fist as I fixated my gaze on the ground. I knew that most of it was true…but…I couldn't accept it, not now. It was a struggle to not just haul off and leave.

"He staged the whole Randall thing so he could lead me out and put a bullet in my back. He gave me no choice! He was my friend, but he came after me. My hands are clean."

Carl began to sob harder into Lori's chest with her stroking his hair, trying to be comforting.

"Maybe you people are better off without me. Go ahead. I say there's a place for us but maybe, maybe it's just another pipe dream- maybe I'm foolin' myself again. Why don't go and find out yourself. Send me a post card," Rick spat.

Daryl stood perfectly still to my left, watching the man with an unreadable expression as did most everyone else. I peeked up at him, as he seemed to silence whatever I was about to say with a harsh glare. We'd never seen this side before…and man when he got angry, he was angry.

"Go on, there's the door. You can do better. Let's see how far you get."

There was another pause.

"No takers? Fine. But get one thing straight. If you're staying, this isn't a democracy anymore," he snapped, looking around the group to see if anyone challenged him.

T-Dog didn't say anything and Beth looked at Hershel, who tried to be reassuring. Glenn looked at Rick with something in his eyes, seeming to change his opinion of the man.

With one last glance at everyone, Rick turned his back and walked out, standing by himself to guard the mediocre camp while everyone stared after him. Awkwardly everyone stood around, unsure what to do after the conversation we'd just witnessed. I took my seat once again, pulling my knees up to my head and trying to breath normally.

What was this going to mean for the group? Was Rick really changing? So many questions flooded my mind and I felt a few tears begin to slip from my eyes. I wished Dale were here, to give us comfort, hope, some reassurance maybe. He always had a way to make things better for us all…he was like the shining star in the dark sky. But most of all…my heart cried out for Shane. God, how I wished he would have changed his ways. He could have talked some sense into Rick, showed him how much danger we were in, where we should go next.

For the rest of the night few words were said and shifts were taken as usual. Curling up in the corner, I pulled my grey jacket up and got a couple hours of sleep before I awoke to the sun peeking through the trees of the forest.

* * *

**A/N: Did you like it? Well looks like that's the end of Season 2, so from here on I'll just be freelancing :) thank you to those who reviewed and put this story on alert. Please review and tell me how I am doing! Reviews= Make my day and fuel for writing**


End file.
